Maxwell 4.4

Some of your handi-work above. Funny that it also captures a big part of who you are right now. By that I mean extreme and plugged.

I have to take this moment to publically thank my sister for her book recommendation she made to me years ago. The series (up to this point) of "Your x Year Old" has been included in my stack of at home resources I refer to. They are books that were published decades ago, and although some of it is outdated, the information regarding child development at the age has been incredibly valuable to me. It doesn't neccesarily teach you how to parent your child, but understanding where your kid is at, or what might be coming up, sure can help you know how to relate to your child.

That being said, I've been into the "Your 4 Year Old: Wild and Wonderful" as of late because lately Max, you have provided some moments of extreme challenge for us. We can enjoy times of great joy abruptly interrupted with flashes of anger/frustration/sadness. It is how we address the "flashes" that are key. If the stars are aligned, we quickly resume joy-filled activities. If not, there's no telling what might happen. Of course the normal factors also have a part in this--are you: tired, hungry, overstimulated, etc.?

The aspects of your life that are "textbook": liking new adventures, increased development of gross and fine motor skills as well as the need to use these skills regularly, as mentioned above--extremes.

We have had some times where your care and gentleness with your brother has melted us. When Cooper is requesting help, we sometimes encourage you to be the one to help him out. It's pretty dang cute. Cooper will say, "Help me Mack?" and you are right there.

We have had some times where your lack of care and lack of gentleness with your brother has caused us to bang our heads on the wall. Not sure if this is age driven or personality driven, but you don't always have a lot of patience.

This summer you have become a big fan of swimming and sports. You like to play baseball, soccer, tennis, basketball or football in the backyard. You are very confident in the pool, and really love to go swimming.

We have gone camping once and will be going again one more time this summer. When you smell a campfire, you say that you smell Marshmallows.

I am so happy to say that you are enjoying lots of fresh veggies to eat and really like to pick stuff from the garden. In fact, one day when I told you we had picked enough things quickly turned ugly. This happened to be a day that the stars were not alligned and we experienced the aftershocks of this incident for quite a while afterward.

You are really enjoying silliness. Songs by Hans Mayer, Greg and Steve, and some Putamayo Kids collections are some of the faves. We have to be careful how this music is used because it can cause you to lose total control of yourself.

Also on the music front Mommy has you becoming friends with Joan(Jett) and John(Meloncamp). I seriously couldn't believe it one day when we were driving somewhere. You actually referred to them by first name. "I love Rock and Roll" and I can't even remember the other "safe" songs you request over and over.

School is going ok for you. You are the kind of kid that won't necessarily cry on the spot if someone does something to you, but you will hang on to it and bring it up later. You feel things deeply. Sometimes it's hard to pull those feelings out, but usually we can. You often have bad dreams. It is not uncommon for us to have to go in to you at night. Take you to the bathroom, or, do a quick change of the sheets. It's amazing how things change for you on weekends versus weekdays, so we know there are things that happen at school that are unsettling to you.

A typical day with you begins with you coming in to greet us in bed(unless you've fanagled yourself in there earlier!)--normally before 6 am. (we've only set our alarm 1 time in the last year, and that was to get up in time for Cooper's ear tube surgery) You wait for there to be a "6 in the front" and then you know it's all clear to go downstairs.

I was talking to a co-worker who just returned from her 8-week maternity leave. She was telling me how drastically her son changed from the moment they brought their new baby home. A lot of what she described seem to describe some of your actions lately. Could we be so lucky to be going through this transition BEFORE the baby arrives? Wishful thinking I'm afraid!

Speaking of babies, you have very minimally started talking about things that show us you are aware of a baby coming. Mostly you'll say things about yourself. You recently told me that "it was kind of funny when I was in your belly and decided to come out." You also asked me how a baby comes out. I responded by telling you that once a baby has grown strong enough, a moms body gets ready, know that it's time and it works really hard to get the baby out. Hope that was sufficient.

You'll be coming with us to our next appointment. I'm guessing you'll have something interesting to say about that.

Some pictures from the recent past

Pictures from Cooper's 1st 2nd birthday party at Uncle David and Aunt Nancy's

Cousins!

Cooper's Birthday!

This tractor was a hit and still continues to be something he LOVES. After the thrill of the tractor, the load of gifts in the wagon and on the floor were a struggle to get him interested in.

Before the birthday cake. Can you believe I didn't take a picutre of his cake!! I made a two-layer banana cake frosted with chocolate frosting. I "raked" half of it and placed a tractor with a plow behind it. On 1/4 of it, I added green-dyed coconut grass and a couple of farm animals. Around the cake platter I added more of the grass and randomly placed some more animals. It was a hit with Cooper. It tasted awesome.

Happy boy.

Some how this guy negotiated a deal to get on the tractor. . .


Pictures from the play area at the Madison Zoo. We made a stop here en route to the Cottage in July.

I requested this picture as I have one with just Max when I was pregnant with Cooper.

You can call me Mary

Last night after school the kids "helped" me mow the grass.

Perched in the safety of the entry porch, they had a snack and some milk. As I started to mow my first strip of grass, Max came running over and firmly instructed me that "Mommy starts on THAT side!" I told him I was going to do the front yard first, and he sped off into the garage to get his mower. Soon it was the three of us in the front yard. The kids never too close to me as they are both a little thrown by the volume of the mower. Cooper will do one of three things. Mow with his mower, stand there and try to hold on a conversation with me, or act frightened for his life and repeat over and over, "Don't hurt me!"

During what should be a 30-40 min. job we had stops for the following:

`7 reminders to stay in our yard.
`one bloody knee(Cooper is a scab-picker)
`one poopy diaper
`one Luxury Sport Coupe/Cooper collision
`2 requests to come up the "hill"

All in all it was a successful mission. We ended with the discovery of dog poop in Cooper's sandals(must have occured during 1 of the 7 reminders to stay in our yard). After all that we had some fresh sweet corn from the farmer's market.

Bun in the oven , 85 ish degrees, physical activity, boiling water---HOT MAMA!!
I excused myself from the dinner table to cool off in the shower. While I was gone I missed a conversation.

Mommy: Is your belly full?

Max: [lifts up shirt] Yes, and do you know what? I have a baby in my belly.

Mommy: Actually, boys don't grow babies in their bellies.

Max: Do you have a baby in your belly?

Mommy: No, but MaMa does. She had you in her belly and she had Cooper in her belly.

Max: MaMa has Baby Jesus in her belly. But, it's not Baby Jesus until it comes out.

Weekend Action

We had a relatively productive weekend. It's hard when you have so many things you want done, but yet also want to have some sort of quality family time. We are now t-minus 11 weekends until V3's arrival and a couple of those will be spent away from home.

One of the big items on our list of to-do's was to scrape, prime and paint our entry porch. This weekend, although she would have liked to get it all done, Mommy managed to get the entire thing scraped and primed. On the next good weather day, pending humidity, we should be able to paint it.

For me, Saturday was good, yet challenging. The boys are both at stages where life can just be hard--or a testing ground--which translates into 28-week pregnant MaMa has to be on her game. All. The. Time. By naptime I was spent. I had learned the critical lesson last weekend that unless one is already asleep, do not--do not attempt a simultaneous naptime. Unless of course, you want all Hell to break loose. How is it that a 2 year old that is falling asleep at the table, once taken up to bed continues to jump, play, sing, etc for another hour? [and God help us all if he were left up there unattended(refer to previous post when he was discovered naked jumping on bed)] Fast forward 2 hours and they are both finally asleep. I was going to help everyone out by taking a nap myself, but knew that Cooper would be awake very soon. So I headed down to our dumping-zone of a basement to try to start organizing. Cooper woke and I had him join me. I was actually pretty pumped about the progress and am highly motivated to keep on truckin'. When all was said and done for the evening, the boys were still alive and sleeping at about 8:40. I came down the stairs on the hunt for ice cream and a repreive from parenting the next day.

When Sunday rolled around, both boys were in testing mode from the moment they woke. It actually gave me some relief to know that it wasn't just me and that it was just the way they are right now. To make family time go well, at times our parenting must be crafty and swift, and when your mentally and physically drained, it is damn hard to play 2 on 1. We had decided to miss church this weekend so that we didn't lose a 1/2 day of work time on the porch. After much pain and suffering getting the kids ready to get out the door, we headed for a quick stop at the farmer's market and then to our local mega-hardware store. We were home after 2 1/2 hours and I knew already, I didn't have it in me to work on the porch all day. Poor Mommy can't keep up with all my demands and requests. . . .one minute she's inside, then she's out. What's a girl to do!?! After lunch came rest time and I adjusted my technique yet again. This time, Cooper was asleep within 1/2 hour and Max only a 1/2 hour later. This time, I slept along with Max. AHHH. Today was better already! After some play time, Mommy and I decided that she would get the most done sans children, so we inticed the kids to let me bike them in the Burley to the coop for some groceries and to pick out a treat for Mommy. Let me say two things. 1)Wow, it really makes a difference when you pump up your tires to the correct pressure. 2) I don't recommend being 28 weeks pregnant, pulling your 70 lbs of children, the trailer, a gallon of milk, a watermelon and two LOADED bags of groceries home. Holy crap, I really almost didn't make it. Oh, I guess I have a third thing. 3) Do not, when you arrive home, ask your partner who has been working hard for 2 days on a project if she is still priming. Glad we really came home with a treasure from the coop bakery!

Other highlights from the weekend:

Cooper officially when poop on the potty! (let's not mind the fact that it was the size of a raisin)

While I was fixing dinner, Cooper colored himself. When Max came over and noticed his handi-work, he said, "Whoa, Cooper, that was not a good choice. You did beautiful your self up, but I don't care of it."

Brothers

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. . .

Ok, maybe not that extreme! It has been so very interesting to watch Cooper and Max and their relationship and how it has changed and grown.

Over the long haul they have always been generally good with each other, and of course, Cooper has forever been thriving to do and be everything that Max has.

Let me just outline some of the day to day happenings of the bro's at our house.

When they wake up, they want to know where the other is.

Depending on the mood, at least one of them is interested in sharing a hug or kiss. If one or the other is in a grouchy mood, this single event can set the tide for the morning. . .something we now know to watch for. Key phrase: independent play.

They really can synergize silliness and physical-ness.

During naptime recently, they both went into their beds at the same time. (This is now Rule #1 for Rest Time. . .They must either stagger start times, or be in seperate sleeping quarters.) I had to run downstairs to talk to Mommy who was outside mowing the grass. I came back upstairs to find them both stripped naked, squealing and jumping up and down on their beds. Needless to say it took a LONG time to recover from this and get them sleeping.

Max can easily be inticed to revert to 2 year old logic.

I didn't get what I want, therefore, I will abandon all mature 4 year old methods of problem solving, and resort to physical tactics.

They can change roles very quickly--aggressor-dictator/victim.

Although, Max mostly dominates the play "rules" and gets upset when Cooper does not follow protocol. That being said, if Cooper starts playing with something, it's not uncommon for this to suddenly be the object of Max's affection. Key Phrase: Have 2 of everything.( oh yeah, I know, I know, they have to learn to share) Cooper is definitely a strong kid though, he won't take being pushed around for long before he responds(retaliates).

Sharing is getting better.

A lot better. It used to be the case that if one had what the other wanted biting or stealing the object would be the outcome. We have worked it out so that they--for the most part--at least make the verbal request for the item, and if the other doesn't comply, we resort to setting a timer so each can have time with the object. This has gotten so great, that now even when I just utter the words, "Cooper, when the timer goes off, it will be Max's turn." He hands it over. And with Max similarly he will just hand it over and say, "I don't want it anymore." These two outcomes probably account for 90% of the time. There are certain things that are considered their own, and they can control the sharing of those items--and they do share them. I think it was just important for them to know they would each have a chance, and now that they know that, it's not as big of a deal. AHHHH is that ever nice!!

Max is glad to help Cooper.

He is also enjoying "teaching" Cooper. Sometimes we have to reign this in a bit as his teaching borders parenting at times. He likes to teach Cooper words. It's also been something that has helped us curb Max's frustration with Cooper. We can channel his frustration that Cooper isn't doing or saying or following his rules into Max explaining the situation or have a conversation about the subject instead of a battle.

I think we're really on the cusp of something great and this brings me some comfort when I look forward 12 weeks to a big life change for us all. I am hoping it just brings them closer together.

A word about Parents and Grandparents

I have always tried to be the kind of person who is appreciative and aware of how truly blessed I am. Although some of my siblings might disagree(!), I have never wanted to be the spoiled baby of the family. I have realized all of the sacrifices my parents have made along the way to provide amazing opportunities for me to grow personally, musically, intellectually, spiritually and many other ways. Because of the order in which we were born, I was lucky enough to be able to spend a great deal more one on one time with my parents, than my older siblings have.

I have such a tremendous amount of love and respect in my heart for my parents. (Boys--are you taking notes here?) It tears me up to think of some of the precious moments we've shared. I hope as our children grow and all throughout their lives, they can store away their own memories and stories of these two amazing people.

At times it seems incomprehensible to think that my kids might someday have similar feelings about us. We can only hope, and do our best. Every. Day.

Without sharing the intimate details of a message I recently received from my Mom, I have to say that she, and my Dad too, have validated and affirmed our choice to become parents. It was a note that left me speechless. Some people spend their entire lives vying for parental approval and love. Some people don't get that chance because the time with their parent was cut short. I am lucky enough to say that I am neither of those people. . .I know my parents love me and are proud of the person and parent I am. Why? Because they told me. What I wouldn't give to know that my children might utter those same words someday--

Above and below-- Making bubbles with Grandma and Grandpa

Wasting no time. Rolling right out of bed to the couch to read books with Grandma. . .

No, I haven't given up on the blog. . .

Man, time can sure get away. I've had all these postable moments and I just haven't gotten them all down. I have a couple of posts that are half-baked, but geez, can't seem to finish em' up.

I still plan to update you with oodles of pictures of Cooper's birthday and the weeks and weekends following. . .

Ok, if life is feeling this crazy now, picture life in about 13 weeks. 13 WEEKS PEOPLE!! As we were walking home from church yesterday, I did a little calculating in my head and sputtered out to Peg that we only had 13 weekends left until the baby is/will be here. WHOA!! Lots to do, people to see.

Speaking of V3, this is quite possibly the most active of our 3 children. If not most active, he/she is seriously competeting for the title. I really have no complaints, as I usually don't. I am lucky to have realatively uneventful, active pregnancies. I can still pick up, hold, carry both kids down the stairs if I want to, pull them in the Burley to the Farmer's Market, and still have enough room to lay down with them in their beds. Although we told the kids about our future new family member a couple of weekends ago, it is not something we talk of often. Our plan was to wait as long as possible, and it appears they still don't notice my protruding belly. We plan to start talking more frequently about it around week 29-30 and will have them both attend our next appointment. We feel like 10 weeks is plenty of time for them to get accustomed to the change without making them wait FOREVER for the baby to come.

So proud of Mommy yesterday. She--with no help from anyone--managed to change the dryer belt!! Unfortunately, she will have to disassemble the dang thing again because the belt was not the issue. I'll be handing over two new rollers for her to install at her next available moment--which will hopefully come before a mountain of laundry is discovered in the basement.